Learning in the Absence of Education

Essays on Homeschooling

© Beverley Paine

Homeschooled Kids Are Children Too...
(continued)

As adults we can help our children enjoy social encounters more, without making harsh or condemning judgements on children we barely know.

To expect all home educated children to have greater than average social skills, without any consideration for their individual temperaments or personal growth is so unfair.

However, homeschooling does produce more socially able children, better socially adjusted children. The evidence is out there, documented by dozens of researchers across three continents. Long term homeschooling parents know this - they accept there are many paths to this goal and honour the paths taken by other homeschooling parents, no matter how different from their own. They respect diversity. They know it is essential in a society such as ours.

But it doesn't happen all at once. It is a gradual process and happens despite parenting technique. It happens because the children know they are loved and cared for by parents who don't want to be separated for several hours each day from their children, by parents who involve their children in the real, as opposed to artificial and contrived, environment of work and
play. By parents who gradually come to learn that learning cannot be divorced or separated out from the humdrum activity of daily life, isn't something you get certificates or awards for, or do for a few years in order to get a well paid job. This is what produces the well-socialised children cited in the research. A balanced, wholesome, holistic approach to life, surrounded by love and trust.

None of us are perfect. Homeschooling parents struggle to find better techniques that work in all areas of their parenting journeys, including education. That is why we socialise, meet, gather, and talk to one another. While we do this our children interact, like we do.

I feel sorry for people who have so little respect for children that individuality is denied. That tolerance or patience is not exercised. That expect homeschooled children to constantly embrace new people into their social groups in open and welcoming ways. Heck, we don't ask adults to behave like this. We don't expect it. Neither do we expect that every new social grouping we encounter in our lives will be full of homogeneously friendly, inviting, gregarious, well-balanced, assertive and flexible people!

I don't ask that you be nice to me, or even talk to me, at a gathering of home educators. I don't expect it. So why should our children live by different standards? Give homeschooled kids a go. They are just like any other.

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More than 60 essays covering a wide range of home schooling concerns and issues, such as late readers, value of play, socialisation, learning maths, part time school, and thoughts on testing. Learning in the Absence of Education is an intimate and honest look at day-to-day homeschooling life spanning several years. Includes articles on learning maths, reading and writing, spelling, socialisation, part time schooling, fathers and homeschooling, value of play, grading and testing, coping with stress and illness, and much more.

"These essays are the real life experiences of a long term home educator and activist and make inspiring reading... a valuable resource for all those interested in home education.... What I particularly appreciate are the personal day-to-day stories that are so specific in the incident or outcome These are essays written over time that reflect natural learning (read life) as it really happens.

I really enjoy Beverley's writing style in this book. It is very direct, sometimes even challenging the reader. She tries to be scrupulously honest always so we read of advantages and disadvantages of whatever topic she is discussing. She will also point out the ideal situation and how she thinks she falls short. Sometimes she is self-deprecating; sometimes she glows with enthusiasm for their successful lifestyle. There are touches of humour and sometimes wry cynicism.

Hopefully this book will answer many people's questions and fears about natural learning. It is all in here: how right it feels when natural learning is working well, what happens when we have insecurities ourselves, and the results so far. By presenting the natural learning case in this essay style, Beverley has been able to reflect the different moods, the ups and downs, that make the book a valuable resource for all those interested in home education, whatever their current style."
Janine Banks, home educator, Qld

ISBN 1876651016, 128 pages... $22.95

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Homeschool Australia SA HE Network Unschool~Kidz! About Beverley Paine

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