Learning in the Absence of Education

Essays on Homeschooling

© Beverley Paine

Homeschooled Kids Are Children Too...

Why is it that so many people want home educated children to be super kids? Or their parents to be super parents? Who sets these expectations - the general community, or are we, as homeschoolers, guilty for this misconception?

And it is a misconception. Recently I had a complaint from a new home educating family that the homeschooled children they looked forward to socialising with were very disappointing. In short, these homeschooled kids were just like the ones left behind at school!

Not adequately socialised, whatever that means. Confrontational, insulting, biased, prejudiced. Bullies. Withdrawn, shy, separatist, elite. Well heck. You know what I mean. You hang out with homeschooled kids, don't you? To summarise, really unique, individual children. The best and the worst of them. But why are they supposed to be 'good', 'nice', 'socialised', 'well-behaved', 'tolerant', 'ambassadors of friendship', blah, blah, blah.

Why is everyone so disappointed to find out that homeschooled kids are just ordinary, everyday children, with personalities of their own, hang ups of their own, temperaments of their own? Not ideal citizens? And why are we all supposed to be super-mums and dads, much better at parenting than anybody else? Why are we supposed to know how to produce these ideal children, more than any other parent who has been at the parenting game for just as long?

Does the decision to home educate suddenly bestow on us all the answers? Well, heck no. Of course not. It does give us the chance to get to know our children better, to champion them, to build their self esteems, to allow them to discover and build their unique identities, unfettered by the need to conform to the systematic brain-washing of an educational model so out of touch with the times we live in. In the safety of homes that honour the development of self esteem and self confidence, and the gradual work of social development, not this so called process of socialisation.

Is it because these people are living out some idealised, romanticised notion of home education in their heads? Lost in an idyllic fantasy? Then they will crash badly when reality sets in. And you know what? Yep, you guessed it. When that happens they will blame the homeschooled children. Then they will blame homeschooling.

I think it is time for some reality to set in. People are people the world over. Children are children. You get nice ones, you get horrible ones; you get calm ones, you get hyperactive ones; you get noisy ones, you get quiet ones; you get friendly ones and you get self contained ones.

What about celebrating diversity, not criticising it?

What about accepting diversity, not condemning it?

What about asking your own kids to make the moves next time they encounter an established homeschooling group for the first time? What about making the moves yourself, on behalf of your children?

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More than 60 essays covering a wide range of home schooling concerns and issues, such as late readers, value of play, socialisation, learning maths, part time school, and thoughts on testing. Learning in the Absence of Education is an intimate and honest look at day-to-day homeschooling life spanning several years. Includes articles on learning maths, reading and writing, spelling, socialisation, part time schooling, fathers and homeschooling, value of play, grading and testing, coping with stress and illness, and much more.

"These essays are the real life experiences of a long term home educator and activist and make inspiring reading... a valuable resource for all those interested in home education.... What I particularly appreciate are the personal day-to-day stories that are so specific in the incident or outcome These are essays written over time that reflect natural learning (read life) as it really happens.

I really enjoy Beverley's writing style in this book. It is very direct, sometimes even challenging the reader. She tries to be scrupulously honest always so we read of advantages and disadvantages of whatever topic she is discussing. She will also point out the ideal situation and how she thinks she falls short. Sometimes she is self-deprecating; sometimes she glows with enthusiasm for their successful lifestyle. There are touches of humour and sometimes wry cynicism.

Hopefully this book will answer many people's questions and fears about natural learning. It is all in here: how right it feels when natural learning is working well, what happens when we have insecurities ourselves, and the results so far. By presenting the natural learning case in this essay style, Beverley has been able to reflect the different moods, the ups and downs, that make the book a valuable resource for all those interested in home education, whatever their current style."
Janine Banks, home educator, Qld

ISBN 1876651016, 128 pages... $22.95

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Homeschool Australia SA HE Network Unschool~Kidz! About Beverley Paine

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