Learning in the Absence of Education

Essays on Homeschooling

© Beverley Paine

Fathers in The Home School
(continued)

• Be aware of your areas of vulnerability and get help with them. We all have our Achilles heels as parents. Know yours, admit them, and learn not to let them get in your way. What is it? Temper, impatience, arrogance, ignorance about children? Whatever it is, find, identify it, and deal with it before it wrecks your relationship with your children.
• Commit time to parenting. You can’t be a good absent father. Your conscious presence, attention and time are required.
• Spend large chunks of time alone with your child. Don’t only be a co-parent, a mother’s helper. From the time your child is an infant until he or she leaves home, take some quality time each week to be a single parent.
• Establish rituals with your children. Be sure to schedule regular activities together, both in the house and out of the house, one to one, just you and each child separately.
• Make a conscious decision about physical punishment. Try never to use it, but if you insist, establish firm guidelines and never exceed them.
• Don’t hide behind your mask. Allow your children to know all of you, including your feelings and vulnerabilities. Show them you are a whole man, not a shadow.
• Avoid the domineering father role.
• Raise gender-sensitive children. Let them know that it’s okay with you if they don’t conform to narrow stereotype about being boys or girls.
• Keep your children out of disagreements with your spouse. Don’t draw them in as allies or try to turn them against their other parent.
• If you have abandoned a child, find him or her, and let him or her know you care. It’s never too late.
• Be positive. Avoid the criticism trap, which is when you almost always find fault with your child. Praise, praise, praise and tell them you love them.

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More than 60 essays covering a wide range of home schooling concerns and issues, such as late readers, value of play, socialisation, learning maths, part time school, and thoughts on testing. Learning in the Absence of Education is an intimate and honest look at day-to-day homeschooling life spanning several years. Includes articles on learning maths, reading and writing, spelling, socialisation, part time schooling, fathers and homeschooling, value of play, grading and testing, coping with stress and illness, and much more.

"These essays are the real life experiences of a long term home educator and activist and make inspiring reading... a valuable resource for all those interested in home education.... What I particularly appreciate are the personal day-to-day stories that are so specific in the incident or outcome These are essays written over time that reflect natural learning (read life) as it really happens.

I really enjoy Beverley's writing style in this book. It is very direct, sometimes even challenging the reader. She tries to be scrupulously honest always so we read of advantages and disadvantages of whatever topic she is discussing. She will also point out the ideal situation and how she thinks she falls short. Sometimes she is self-deprecating; sometimes she glows with enthusiasm for their successful lifestyle. There are touches of humour and sometimes wry cynicism.

Hopefully this book will answer many people's questions and fears about natural learning. It is all in here: how right it feels when natural learning is working well, what happens when we have insecurities ourselves, and the results so far. By presenting the natural learning case in this essay style, Beverley has been able to reflect the different moods, the ups and downs, that make the book a valuable resource for all those interested in home education, whatever their current style."
Janine Banks, home educator, Qld

ISBN 1876651016, 128 pages... $22.95

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