Learning in the Absence of Education

Essays on Homeschooling

© Beverley Paine

Dads and home education

I think it is a well known fact that most of the home educating responsibility falls squarely on the mum’s shoulders. Few dads take on obviously active roles, remaining in the background as income providers to the family. Homeschoolers tend to be a very traditional, conservative bunch of people overall! It is difficult to break that mould, as our family found out.

In our home Robin is quietly supportive, but in a moment of rare self confession, declared himself lacking the confidence to take on the day to day responsibility for the education of his children. Left on his own to parent, the children would quickly find themselves in school! This revelation came after ten successful years of home education, and demonstrated how much I was bearing the burden of, and responsibility for, the success of our children’s home education and parenting.

This is not to say Robin doesn’t have a critical and important role. He is demonstrating excellent learning and work skills, values and attitudes. His support for our home learning style, activities and environment underpin my own, and his enthusiasm for all I do is absolutely essential to keeping my self esteem intact. Just by his being there home education becomes more possible.

But I am tired of being the person ultimately responsible for the success of parenting and educating in this relationship. It reflects traditional and sexist role stereotyping. Robin doesn’t have to worry as much, nor take on relationship building as seriously as I do. He is less ‘in touch’ with the children’s needs and learning development, making it difficult to share the educational workload at times. The children prefer me in most learning situations, and considering our natural learning approach, this is most of our life! This preference has evolved because I am the one who takes the time to be ‘in tune’ with the children. I need to be very close to the children if I am to provide quality parenting. I often find myself directing Robin to be involved, orchestrating his participation in the parenting and educational process. This is too much work for me!

I take parenting and education very seriously simply because I am a parent. I don’t see that there should be a difference in the quality and quantity of responsibility in home education between mums and dads. But I see it happening in many home learning families. And I don’t know any quick or easy solutions. I worry about how this continuation of stereotyped roles within families affects my daughter and sons - how will their future families distribute parenting responsibilities - relationships and learning as mum’s work, provision of sustenance and shelter as dad’s? Of course, this is an oversimplified statement of what actually occurs, but the division, nonetheless, remains obvious.

Home education seems to promote very conservative and traditional family values in general, though this needn’t be so. I often wonder how home educating same sex partners cope with the division of responsibilities. I feel sure someone, somewhere has solved this problem. If so I know many home educating mums that would like to know more!

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More than 60 essays covering a wide range of home schooling concerns and issues, such as late readers, value of play, socialisation, learning maths, part time school, and thoughts on testing. Learning in the Absence of Education is an intimate and honest look at day-to-day homeschooling life spanning several years. Includes articles on learning maths, reading and writing, spelling, socialisation, part time schooling, fathers and homeschooling, value of play, grading and testing, coping with stress and illness, and much more.

"These essays are the real life experiences of a long term home educator and activist and make inspiring reading... a valuable resource for all those interested in home education.... What I particularly appreciate are the personal day-to-day stories that are so specific in the incident or outcome These are essays written over time that reflect natural learning (read life) as it really happens.

I really enjoy Beverley's writing style in this book. It is very direct, sometimes even challenging the reader. She tries to be scrupulously honest always so we read of advantages and disadvantages of whatever topic she is discussing. She will also point out the ideal situation and how she thinks she falls short. Sometimes she is self-deprecating; sometimes she glows with enthusiasm for their successful lifestyle. There are touches of humour and sometimes wry cynicism.

Hopefully this book will answer many people's questions and fears about natural learning. It is all in here: how right it feels when natural learning is working well, what happens when we have insecurities ourselves, and the results so far. By presenting the natural learning case in this essay style, Beverley has been able to reflect the different moods, the ups and downs, that make the book a valuable resource for all those interested in home education, whatever their current style."
Janine Banks, home educator, Qld

ISBN 1876651016, 128 pages... $22.95

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Homeschool Australia SA HE Network Unschool~Kidz! About Beverley Paine

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