Learning in the Absence of Education

Essays on Homeschooling

© Beverley Paine

A Day in the Life of a Child 'Damaged' by the Modern World
(continued)

Children who demand to be entertained continuously by adults are unwell. But they have been made that way by adults, and adults need to help them find that point of balance again in their lives. This often requires the adult to seriously question his or her own values, look back at his or her own childhood, critically, and from the point of view of the child he or she once was, listening to that long forgotten voice in his or her head.

What is it that children really want? If I were a child again, what would I want? Right now?

First of all, love. Second, acceptance. Third, physical care and safety. Then I want space to play, to explore the world in my own way, and to have someone to share my findings with!

These are easily met needs. But you have to give up a lot of myths about parenting, about children, about education.

Often I am asked questions about whether it is possible to home educate if a parent is unwell.... And how this affects home educating one's children. Unhealthy, unwell parents still love and care for their children. There are lessons to be learned about life that are unpleasant - illness and death are two of them. Depriving children of first hand experience of these and locking them away in the care of others during this time is unbelievably stressful for children. They can cope if you love them, if you are honest and open, if you respect them first and foremost as people.... they will live and learn through the months or years of hardships, and will grow in a deep respectful relationship with you.

There is no point in running away from highly stressful situations, or in trying to protect children from them. Some day that child may live through a war, or cyclone, or other disaster. When that time comes the child will suffer, but children recover, if their basic needs are met, and they are given love and acceptance, by people who respect them. We do children a disservice when we consider them frail.

I believe that because I conceived and gave birth to my children I have the right to parent however I choose to. I am accountable for the outcome to them, and only them, for the rest of my life. These are people I want to have a long and close relationship with. I parent conscientiously because of this. My lifestyle and my philosophical and spiritual beliefs are very important to me. I will not sacrifice myself or my beliefs for my children. But if I am pushy they will reject me, my beliefs and values... So I tread carefully, listening all time to their voices, their feelings. Continuously seeking feedback on how I am parenting. Letting them teach me about how to be a better parent and person.

previous page

Page 17

next page

buy this book

More than 60 essays covering a wide range of home schooling concerns and issues, such as late readers, value of play, socialisation, learning maths, part time school, and thoughts on testing. Learning in the Absence of Education is an intimate and honest look at day-to-day homeschooling life spanning several years. Includes articles on learning maths, reading and writing, spelling, socialisation, part time schooling, fathers and homeschooling, value of play, grading and testing, coping with stress and illness, and much more.

"These essays are the real life experiences of a long term home educator and activist and make inspiring reading... a valuable resource for all those interested in home education.... What I particularly appreciate are the personal day-to-day stories that are so specific in the incident or outcome These are essays written over time that reflect natural learning (read life) as it really happens.

I really enjoy Beverley's writing style in this book. It is very direct, sometimes even challenging the reader. She tries to be scrupulously honest always so we read of advantages and disadvantages of whatever topic she is discussing. She will also point out the ideal situation and how she thinks she falls short. Sometimes she is self-deprecating; sometimes she glows with enthusiasm for their successful lifestyle. There are touches of humour and sometimes wry cynicism.

Hopefully this book will answer many people's questions and fears about natural learning. It is all in here: how right it feels when natural learning is working well, what happens when we have insecurities ourselves, and the results so far. By presenting the natural learning case in this essay style, Beverley has been able to reflect the different moods, the ups and downs, that make the book a valuable resource for all those interested in home education, whatever their current style."
Janine Banks, home educator, Qld

ISBN 1876651016, 128 pages... $22.95

available from
ALWAYS LEARNING BOOKS

Homeschool Australia SA HE Network Unschool~Kidz! About Beverley Paine

Disclaimer: The information on this page is opinion,
written by someone without legal qualifications.
Always seek qualified legal advice if in any doubt as to your legal position.